the only ones that matter

i just want my family.
all together, as one again.
i want to be in the same house,
they house i have always known.
with the people i love and have always loved.

i wish i was back.. sleeping on the trampoline.
or hearing people downstairs laughing at 2 in the morning
or having family meeting at the dinner table on Sunday night.
or sitting at the computer while my dad plays kink online radio and whistles along
or eating grilled cheese every Sunday while discussing college sports.


i want it back. all of it. 

"You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place. "