Tuesday, January 4, 2011

thats enough for now.

why are we numb?
why cant we feel, when we should feel something.
but then we cry over something stupid, like a movie or a song?
why do we do this?
i have no idea.

i want to be a kid again,
5 years old. playing tag with stetson and matthew.
or 9, when i got my first avril lavigne cd, and sarabeth and i became friends... again. hahah.
maybe even ten, when i was in the fifth grade. and bestfriends with gentry and kenzie.
but i dont want to be twelve again,
this was the year my grandma died.
i didnt know her as well as most people, because i was so young.
but i love her so much.
and i miss her every single day.
her death is the hardest thing i have ever gone through.
it didnt hit me right away, i didnt cry until hours after she died,
but when i started. i couldnt stop.
i wish she was still here.

i talked to him today,
i think he has finally caught on that i dont care anymore
he needs to get his life together.
i cant always be here to catch him.


  1. Soo.. we talked about this night.
    I love you to the moon and back crasi.

  2. we were nine not five. please read bahah.

  3. It's hard to learn you've been forgotten.
    Even by someone who was supposed to forget you.

  4. yeah but you said you wanted to be five. idiot. i want to be five too. check the the right before you correct. andddd just because i was a big meanie to you when i was five... cause you were annoying and followed me around everywhere! (: