Thursday, August 25, 2011

go lancers?

so... i started school on Monday at Layton high.
The first day, was okay... mostly because i knew all would be okay once i was in the very front row of the death cab concert... but i was suppose to be in line with Emily all day, but someone (mother) decided i should just start school that day even though i haven't registered. So i didn't stand in line with Emily, i sat in an English were the teacher picked on me because i said, my hobby was.. doing nothing and he didn't believe me, but really lets be real.. that is my hobby. Oh and it also doesn't matter that we have no air conditioning in our school or a ceiling for that matter. So.. Emily, got to meet Ben Gibbard and i wasn't there.

 But all is well..because i got there and I got to be in the front row.
It was the most incredible concert.
First off, the frightened rabbit (one of my favorite bands for the last year)
opened for them.. and they did amazing. Plus, i got the set list after.
it made my whole life.

Then death cab came on... and for the first time in a month...
i stopped thinking about all my problems.
and just listened to the music.
For the first time... in a long time.
i knew it was going to be okay.

and yes, i did panic for a second seeing him..
but it turned out okay. because i had no desire to talk to him.
and i could tell he had no desire to talk to me.
 We are different people now, and its okay.
It's finally okay.

Its now Thursday, i have survived almost a week of school..
It contained a lot of tears and loneliness, but i survived.
and next week, i will do it again, hopefully with less tears.

 here i sit.. the day before my birthday.
knowing, yes i can make it through, yes i am strong.
although sometimes, i just don't have the energy.

but I'm pushing through anyways,
because its the right thing to do.
and sometimes, that's all we have.

1 comment:

  1. As Andrew McMahon would say, "I don't have the energy, so she plugs my machines back in".

    Find your machine.

    I love you.
    And will continue to blog stalk you.

    p.s. Jack's Mannequin. We are going.