read.read.read.

so everybody, as you know i have been blogging lately..
i just have been stuck in a rut.

so in efforts to get out of this blogging rut,
i created a new one.

im going to start over.
its going to be fresh.
almost as much as the prince of bel-air.

so please, go here:
www.andsuddenlyisee-withlove.blogspot.com

memories.

do you guys remember when jack's mannequin came to town a couple months ago??..
well, i have a good story for you. which should of been told right after the concert, but who blogs these days.. im trying to keep it under the radar. you know, hipster stuff.
haahah.


anywho, it was a fine day in the middle of may.. okay, not really. it was october.
October 25, to be exact. Well, early this day i found out that jack's mannequin was doing a free acoustic session at trolley square. i was super stoked because i didn't have tickets for the show that night. but then 3 o clock rolled around and i couldn't  find a ride to salt lake, so i sulked while watching grey's anatomy. then around 5 i get a call from my friend Emily, she had just won tickets to the show and asked if i want to go. well, of course i did. my uncle got home just in time to take me.. and before you know it Emily and i are at the concert..

 now that you know how i got to the concert you can hear the story of what happened at the concert..

So Emily and i quickly try and push our way to the front of the crowd, seeming that we aren't very big and had no male with us.. we didn't get very far. but we got close enough that we could see pretty good. The opening band was lady danville, which my best-friends aunt ally told me about just this summer. So i was excited to see them.. They put on a great show and just before they ended their set, they took a picture of the crowd. (this information will be valuable to you later on). so next up was Lenka, she also put on a great show.. and she was also 5 months pregnant, so it was extra impressive.

After Lenka played, Emily and I wanted to go get a picture with Dan before jacks mannequin went on. So we went back by the merch table and got our picture. Then we tried to fight our way back to our spot but our attempts failed so then we ended up stand on a block behind the sound. which was fine cause we could see the stage well and took cool videos..

well, about a quarter way through jacks mannequin set, matt from lady danville walked past us.. then he stopped and walked back to us. He stopped in front of me and said "You are the girl" and i look at him like what? and then he was like, " you are the girl i was talking about on stage, when i asked the girl towards the back in the orange headband to smile, it was you"  (i definitely had no idea he was talking to about me when he was on stage, cause you know me. clueless.)  so i replied "oh really, that was me?" and he was like yeah and smiled at me. Then we just randomly hugged.. hahah. it happens. (sidenote: i was stand on block thing, so i was like towering over him, so it was a little awkward) Then he said that he had to go backstage for a little bit but then was going to come back. So we listened to the rest of the set.. and during the encore we saw that he was sitting and talking to the fans by the merch table so we decided that we would go get a picture with him after the show.. well the show ended, and we went to the merch table, and he just dissapeared.. we couldnt find him anywhere by the rest of the band. so then about ten minutes later we finally found him, but he was talking to a group of girls.. so we just sat and waited for him to finish.. but then he looks over and notices us..and was like " Sarah!"  and totally left the group of girls.. oops. sorry girls. haha. Then he told us that he went to go look for us.. and thought we had left. but really we were just looking for eachother. well then he asked me what i was doing that night and wanted to hang out.. well, the truth was, i had school in the morning. but i replied "i actually have to go meet up with some people" and then he was like "really, thats too bad" and i was like "yeah, it is" then we embraced again.. and i left.

pretty pathetic ending to the story... i know.
but hey, what girl can say that a boy in a band picked her out of the crowd.
hahah. it was quite a random night.
but a great memory. (:

so everybody,
go create memories.

passing by.

today, i was in a funk.
not good, not bad.
just living.


i thought a lot today about the past,
the good times and the bad.
i laughed to myself.
then wanted to cry.

I miss the good ol' days.
when we would do crazy stuff.
and we live for every weekend.

but then i think to myself, what if these are the good days
and i am missing them because i am still hung up on the past.

so.. im letting it go,
the good and the bad.
and im going to live.
right now.
forever.

this song got me out of my funk.
hopefully, it will cheer you up too(:

ramblings.

you might know me as...

the girl that wants to live in belgium. 

the girl that loves fashion. 

the girl that cant sing. 

the girl watches too much college football. 

the girl that cant finish a funny story because she is laughing too hard. 

the girl with the headphones in. 

the new girl.. 

Its funny how, one little thing about me can be everything about me to one person. 

Its like people latch on to one little fact about you, and thats all you are to them.they don't take the time to know who you really are and inspire to be. 

so here is to the people, that knew everything on that list.. 

thank you for getting to know me for everything that i am. 

you, you are family. and i care for you as much as you care for me.

 

i just made a blog post. 

this is deserving of some type of reward. 

ryan gosling..?? 

okay, well... see ya. 

(:

for real.

you know what?
I'm done with this lacking blog,
I'm done trying trying to sound clever..

I'm ready to be real.


so this, this my friends, is what i am really feeling,plain and simple.

I feel like i am at a crucial point in my life, yet i cant seem to move. 
its like I'm running as fast i can until i am out of breath, just to learn that i haven't moved an inch.
And maybe, its because I'm 17 and have dreams of being something i am not.
Am i suppose to reach for them or let them go and be real about life?
Im stuck. Everyone always says reach for your dreams, but the next sentence they are like, well that probably wont happen so make a realistic plan. so people, what the heck do you want from me?!!
are dreams ever realistic? rarely. So do i risk it all and reach from them, or do i settle?
who the flip knows anymore. if you do, tell me.

 also, I'm not always fine. I'm not always the strong sarah, everyone knows me to be.
I cry, I cry a lot.  I get mad and i blame people, i blame my mom for situations that are out of control, I blame myself for stuff i couldn't of stopped. And i really, really wish i didn't. So mom, if you ever read this.. I'm sorry that i always get mad at you. It just that i feel like you are the only person i can be weak around. I am trying to be better and Im sorry. 

and yes, i may not "care" about boys. But that doesn't mean, boys haven't hurt me and broken my heart. And yes, i still get nervous when i see you.. and yes, sometimes i miss you and wonder what i did wrong? and yeah, i do wish i had a boy that liked me..  i think what i really want is to know, that someone thinks of me that way.. that someone cares. Is that too much to ask?
bahahaha. ewww. i sound like a 14 year old crazy person. sorry. real=crazy.


alos, i find myself being way more shy than i used to be. Maybe that's because, i have don't have that much social interaction these days... figures. ha ha ha. 

any who,
thats me today,
real. idiot.
(:

music of the week.

this week, this is what i felt..

1. Goodbye to you- Michelle Branch
This is song for me, isnt about a boy. For me, its about highschool.
For so long, i wanted to be the High-school girl, the girl who has tons of friends
and gets asked to dances, the girl who lives for everyday of highschool.
But im not that girl, i will never be that girl. Highschool is just not for me,
i need to let go of that, i need to stop trying and just move on.
"i want you, but im not giving in this time, goodbye to you.... highschool"

2. Your my own sinking ship - Good old war
"I picked apart your wasted lies, to get you back here" i do this, too much. i justify everything, i always give second chances and third and fourth.. because it just feels better when they are by my side, even if i know its not genuine. im tellin ya... self-esteem, it messes with your head. I accept the unaccpectable , oh yeah.. you are my own sinking ship.

3. Someone to love- Hey Marseilles
I found this song this week, i have fallen completely in love with this band. This song was the first song i found.. and it is just a perfect song. great music, great lyrics.. its a little sad. i love this song, because the boy calls the girl out.. but still tells her how much he still cares for her. He just wants her to come around.. dear girl he is singing about, you should feel like crap. ha ha.

4. And the world turned- The Gabe Dixon Band
Every teenage girl has a time in her life when she feels like the girl in this song.. sometimes, we have lost ourselves, but the world just keeps turning and no body hears us. This song sums up that feeling perfectly.. and how we just need to let go of somethings and move on.

5. All will be well- The Gabe Dixon Band
"Even after all the promises you have broken to yourself, all will be well.. you can ask me how but only time will tell" This song, has given me hope this week, it makes me smile every time i listen to it. I know it will be okay... i just have to wait it out. so everybody, get the popcorn. this is may be awhile.. but its going to be a happy ending, i promise(:

a boy in a tie.